The very first thing I did when I closed the door was
totally take a post-sex selfie and posted that shit-eating grin on my Facebook
page with the caption, “Good motherfucking morning world!”
I now had to give my favourite bitches the play-by-play of
the night because of course, that’s what girls do and I was DYING to just
physically talk with someone about my indiscretion.
Below are my actual text exchanges between my girlfriends
over a two-hour time frame from when Mr. Tuesday dropped me off at home:
ME:
Mr. Tuesday is driving me home from his place…
JENN:
Shut up!!!!!
Did you guys do it!!!!!
Stop holding out on me!!!!!!!
Tell me!!!!!
ME:
Are you up?
JENN:
You ass! I know
you want to tell me! Call me
quick!!!!!!
LEILANI:
What!!! Good
for you!!! Need the deets!!! Who? What?
When? Where?
ME:
Call me….
PIPER:
WHAT????? With
who???? Mr. Tuesday???
ME:
Yes.
PIPER:
PIPER:
LOL!! Amazing!
Good for you girl!
MIRANDA:
I assume you saw Mr. Tuesday?
ME:
I went to his place at 1:30 in the morning. He called to chirp and he dared me to
come over…so I did. Serviced
TWICE!
MIRANDA:
Omg, u had better have a nap
ME:
I need to brush my teeth first then I’ll sleep. He did after all impregnate my mouth. Hahaha!!
MIRANDA:
Sweet dreams girlfriend!!
SASH:
HAHA! Love
it….Mr. Tuesday?
ME:
Yup.
CARRIE:
WHAT?
ME:
TWICE in one night!
CARRIE:
Nice….was it good sex?
Did he have a nice dick?
ME:
I didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I had an anxiety attack in the middle of
him fucking me the first time because I had body image issues with myself. He does have a nice dick. He manscapes. I let him impregnate my mouth!
CARRIE:
Well if you were so nervous and have been pleasuring
yourself for a while then it may take some time.
I love that my girlfriends never once made me feel slutty
for the out-of-the-blue crazy shit I just pulled. Virtual pats on the back was what I got and I was so
thoroughly amused by that.
The very last person I got in touch with was Holly. She by far was THE most excited about
my encounter and made me belly laugh like no one’s business via text.
ME:
My vagina was serviced last night… TWICE!!!
HOLLY:
Shut the fuck up!!!!
Shut the fuck up!!!! BY
WHO????!!!!!!
OMGEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
ME:
Mr. Tuesday
HOLLY:
Way to go Girlfriend!!! How was it??
Was it amazing?? Do you
feel awesome?? Tell me, tell me!!
ME:
I had an anxiety attack for the first time we went for
it. Body hang-ups and shit. By the time we did it the second time
it was better but I didn’t enjoy as much as I should. He fucked my mouth good ‘tho.
HOLLY:
Wait a second.
Any 40+ year old man who can service a vajayjay more than once in a
night is a fuckin’ hero. Just
saying. Ahhhhh… I kinda love that
you had this wild wild sexcapade.
ME:
Me too
HOLLY:
Free your mind girl… let the jizz clear your soul!! So, so, are we friends with Mr.
Tuesday, or just fucking Mr. Tuesday, or seeing where it goes. Damn Gurl – I’m fuckin’ excited you got
LAID!!! We should celebrate!!!
ME:
It was a total booty call night. I went to his place at 1:30 in the morning!!! He dared me to come over. He didn’t think I would actually show
up.
HOLLY:
Haha!! Good for
you Girl. You know what you want. You go for it!!
ME:
I think we’re gonna end up with a friend with benefits
situation. I’m not putting my eggs
in one basket.
HOLLY:
That’s good too tho…
ME:
And neither is he
HOLLY:
You need it.
Sex is an amazing euphoric release that you need girl. And it gets all the jitters out and
works out the kinks!! Ain’t
nothing wrong with FWB.
ME:
I know, I just gotta get over my body image hang-ups.
HOLLY:
Just don’t get emotionally attached and you are GOOD!! This should help.
ME:
Call me later tonight and I can totally spill the deets
properly!!! So so dying to tell
you!!
HOLLY:
Making a man feel good. Or letting a man love your body (and do it good) is what you
need!! I will, I will. I fuckin’ love you. Way to GO !! You get on wit your bad ass self!! Boot-TAY Licious!!
ME:
Fucking Love Love Love YOU!!
HOLLY:
100 million times ditto
I then send her a shameless selfie with the caption, “Me,
waiting in his car as he gets Starbucks for the drive home”
HOLLY:
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! That
looks like an amazing after sex up all night selfie. Damn Gurl – You Fine!!! It’s your ‘Sorta been Fucked’ photo!
OMG YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!
HOLLY:
Loves It
ME:
I fucking reek of cologne and sex. SO AWESOME! Holy
Fuck! I just looked in the mirror
and I have scratch marks running the length of my back!!
HOLLY:
Damn Gurl – He rough!!! (And you were obvi that good!!! Made him pounce!!! Rawwrrrrr!!!) Damn!! I think you should name him Tony the
Tiger! LOL
No joke, after speaking with my friends I totally felt like
a damn rock star. I also felt
confident that I could swing the whole FWB thing. That I can separate mind from body. I like fucking…well actually I like
everything that leads up to fucking…the actual intercourse is always just meh for me.
However I remembered what Carrie told me, that it’s been so
long since someone else pleasured me that it would take some time for me to
fully enjoy sex. I also needed to
work on my body image issues. That
shit haunts me on the regular.
Either way I fucked a dude on my own terms and was COMPLETELY fine with
it.
I just wondered what Mr. Tuesday thought our late night
tryst. I’d NEVER contact him of
course to find out. I just hoped
that IF we ever met up again he would tell me if I was decent or not. I know for dudes, that sex - even if
it’s bad- is still good sex. I was
just happy that he was a total gentleman from beginning to end, so no harm no
foul should he not contact me again.
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