Just Jump

Mr. Tuesday calling late wasn’t anything surprising.  Most of our conversations happen after 10pm anyways.  It was really nice knowing there was someone who actually wanted to talk and get to know me.  We were becoming friends, which I liked very much.  Like I said, he was way too charming and funny NOT to want to keep.

We made standard polite chitchat then in his typically charming fashion he cracked one of his terribly cheesy jokes and I cringed and laughed at the same time.  We started talking about our first date and how we were both very remorseful about it ending a little too prematurely.  I told him that he was a great kisser and that I could have done SO MUCH more.  He agreed.  We both sighed at the same time then silence…

In my mind I was recalling that night and imagining all the things that would have happened had I stayed longer.  I pressed my thighs together and felt myself getting tight down there.  I pipe up and say with hopeful questioning…

ME:

I’m okay with the whole friends with benefits thing if that’s what you want. 

HIM:

Yeah, yeah…we could do that.  That’s fine…friends…that mouth of yours….mmm…

Mr. Tuesday’s voice got a little low and husky now.

We sexually teased each other back and forth again about what we liked.  Hot and bothered doesn’t even begin to describe how I was feeling now.  My lower lip was raw from biting and my panties completely soaked.

HIM:

You should come to my place.

He jokingly said.

ME:

Uhhh…I think you should come to mine.  I’ve already been to your place.

HIM:

My place is better.

ME:

WHY?  What is it about a dude’s place that makes it better?

HIM:

It’s just better.  Guys just like being in their space.  Ha…you gonna come over?

I was giggling now.

ME:

NO!  It’s really late but fucker, you made me totally horny, you bastard.

HIM:

Awww…come on….come over…

It was now almost one in the morning.  I knew that it was very late.  I knew that he was completely teasing me about coming over.  I knew that I wanted to see him again to feel his lips against mine - amongst other things on my body. The cogs in my head suddenly spun in a completely different direction and clicked into a place very uncharacteristic of me.  I have no clue what made me so bold to say I what I said next…

ME:

Okay.  I’ll come over.

HIM:

Wait…WHAT?

ME:

I said yeah.  I’ll come over.  I need your address.

HIM:

Are you being serious?

ME:

Yes.  Don’t you want me to come over?

HIM:

Fuck.  Of course!

ME:

Okay.  I’m going to get ready.  See you soon.

I hung up before I could change my mind.  Then I realized that he never gave me his address, so I text him.  He immediately calls me back instead.

ME:

Hey…I need your address fucker.

HIM:

I’m not sure this is a good idea.

ME:

Why?  Is it because it’s so late?

HIM:

No.  I just don’t want to make it weird between us.  The friendship is important to me.

My shoulders slump in disappointment.

ME:

Okay…if that’s what you want.  I don’t want to make it weird between us either but I’m totally okay with friends with benefits…you know that….but that’s fine…it’s all good.

Damn.  Sigh.

HIM:

It’s not that I don’t want you…it’s just…(long pause)…it’s just that I don’t believe it would be respectful because I think the world of you.

Always a gentleman that fucker.

ME:

I’m 100% okay with the friends with benefits thing, but if it will make our friendship weird then don’t worry about it.  It’s all good…I understand.

HIM:

Umm…I think…hmmm…you know what…FUCK IT.  Just come over.  Even if nothing happens we can just cuddle in bed.

HOLY SHIT. 

ME:

Okay…but it’s alright if you don’t want me to come over. It’s totally fine.  I don’t want it to be weird between us.

HIM:

No…no…just come over.  It’s fine.

ME:

Okay text me your address and I should be at your place in about half an hour.

HIM:

Okay.  See ya soon.

HOLY FUCK!  I’m really gonna do this.  I’m going to his place in the middle of the night.  This is fucking CRAZY!  MENTAL!

Okay.  Breathe.  Deep breaths.  You just jumped off a cliff and are waiting to fly or crash.  Which one is it going to be girl?

WAIT!  FUUUUUCCCKKKK!

When one hasn’t engaged in any intimate physical activity in over 2 years there really isn’t a point in doing any kind of maintenance down the vagina way.  Now, with the possibility of that looming in less than an hour, one is in a desperate scramble to correct that severe oversight.

I quickly make my way to my ensuite and pray to God that I have razors.  Please, please…PLEASE!!!  I check the cupboard under the sink and collapse with tears of joy in my eyes when I see that there are still three brand new razors left.

I have never in my life spread my legs open and mowed the lawn so fast down there.  It was almost like watching a time-lapse video in ultra high speed.  I went through all THREE razors! It was THAT bad.  I pretty much shaved an Ewok off my crotch once I looked at the floor of my tub.

I put on a pair of cute panties, fitted dark jeans and a floral print deep V-neck cap sleeve top with NO bra-so classy I know-and a yellow cardigan.   Spritzed some perfume onto my cleavage, piled my hair into a bun and waited for the cab to arrive.

What I was doing to so incredibly uncharacteristic of me I was trying to reason with myself on the ride over.  I completely ignored all warning signs that what I was doing was a mistake.  That I wasn’t ready for anything close to this nature.  That bad shit is gonna come from it.  He’s practically a complete stranger.  I kicked those thoughts under the proverbial rug.  Just fucking live!   Enjoy the moment of spontaneity.  Just fuck it and hopefully him as well.  HA!

I text Mr. Tuesday to let him know I was on my way.

ME:

I am en route…if you feel weird about me coming over tell me now…I’m a big girl…

HIM:

It’s fine…

Phew. 

HIM:

Close?

ME:

I’m approaching your street…

HIM:

Okay…I’ll warn the neighbourhood

ME:

Hahahahaha!!!

HIM:

Snipers…Where are you?!

ME:

Fuck you!!!

HIM:

Ha!

Count on Mr. Tuesday for being consistently charming.  His comical texts put me somewhat at ease.  It wasn’t until I stepped out of the cab and walked into his building I began to have a SERIOUS anxiety attack.  

As I rode the elevator up to his floor I began to feel extremely light headed and began to dry heave.  Fuck me.  Not now!!!  I hobbled out and leaned my forehead against the cool metal doorframe of the elevator.  I closed my eyes and fought back the need to vomit.  I took four big breaths...in and out...then took four more, wiped the sweat off my brows and upper lip, gulped down the bile, straightened my back and tried to look as composed as I could.  I turned the corner and made my way down the hallway.

Mr. Tuesday opened the door to his place when I was about halfway down the hall.  I felt my chest tighten just a little bit when I saw him.  He looked adorable all barefoot in his grey plaid pajama bottoms and fitted grey T-shirt, eyes bright with an impish smirk on his face. 

HOLY FUCK.   This is really happening.

I giggled out a “Hey…” As he stepped aside and let me in...