Catch and Release

The previous night’s events felt like a dream.  It was kind of surreal to me that I could have such an amazing experience a mere forty-eight hours after an EXTREMELY shitty one. 

I went to bed that night a tad hot and bothered but I have a detachable showerhead so this bitch was well taken care of.  Let’s put it this way, I completely ran out of hot water.  I was in the shower for THAT long.  I’m pretty sure I could have written an erotic novel that would have made Christian Grey blush had I put pen to paper that night.  Nipping, kissing, sucking, blowing, moaning, panting, scratching…fuuuucck me.

I slept well.  Probably better then I have in a long damn time and I woke up in a totally amazing mood. I had the ‘day after sex’ face but with no sex.  Did my rounds of texting and calling my lady friends to give them the play-by-play of the night.  They were all impressed that he was the epitome of the perfect gentleman.  They were also ultra pleased I snagged a pretty sweet make-out sesh. 

Everyone asked me if I would hear from him again.  I confidently said, “No.”  Dude is a player.  Sure I liked him but there was no way in hell I had any intention of getting attached.  I was grateful for the whole experience that night and that was the most important thing for me.  I was totally content with the one single date.  I felt awesome at the end of it and had zero expectations.  No over-thinking, just living the moment for exactly what it was.

I had mentally prepared myself not to think about Mr. Tuesday again.  There was no point.  He was a man-whore and I was too new to this whole dating game thing.  That date was a total fluke anyways.  It was via the sheer curiosity of Leilani and Piper that the stars aligned for Mr. Tuesday to connect and meet.

I just allowed myself to bask in the afterglow and it was bloody awesome.  Like I said, I got a little confidence back thanks to Mr. Tuesday.

As predicted, I never heard from him the day after our date.  Perfectly fine.  I had stored him away in the proverbial box in my head, to only be brought out on those days when my self-loathing was at an all-time high.  I’m getting a little better at not hating myself so much, but I’m a constant work in progress when it comes to feeling ‘whole’. 

I’m not saying I need a man to reassure me of my worth but I have to admit nothing fuels the ego or gives one confidence like a man letting you know that you are pretty and desirable.  What woman doesn’t want a handsome stranger to sweep her off her feet - or in my case foot - for even a few hours??

I had pretty much shelved that proverbial box away in my head even though a small part of me wanted it left out just a teeny bit longer.  It didn’t help that my friends hounded me on why I wasn’t concerned about him getting in touch with me again.  I reminded them and especially myself that I didn’t care about him.  I cared about the experience, as I am sure Mr. Tuesday had the same mantra.  Yes, I admit I felt a little surge of connection being with him but I had to be a realist and kill that shit.  No sense in ‘catching feelings’ for someone I just met, particularly a worldly gentleman of his nature.  I’m just a distraction.  I had to make sure he was the same for me.

Two days later in the middle of the day Mr. Tuesday sent me a text…

Whole

So I have to say…I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY like making-out.  Kissing is a crazy big turn-on for me and this guy was fucking AMAZING at it.  I haven’t done anything like this in years and Sweet Mother of Pearl was it ever panty-wetting!

I savoured Mr. Tuesday’s velvet tongue against mine as our mouths fought against each other in a delicious battle.  I smarted his lower lip as I nibbled towards his jaw line.  His stubble rough and welcome against my cheek.  I licked my way down to his neck and felt his pulse against my tongue.  His hands were still in my hair and when he pulled just a little.  I ravaged his neck and suckled his earlobe. 

Our lips connected again and I trailed my right hand down his chest past his belt.  I palmed him through his jeans. 

He. 

Was. 

Hard. 

HOLY FUCK!  I made Mr. Tuesday like this! 

ME!  Plain crippled me!

Mr. Tuesday responded in kind and plotted sweeping wet kisses across my neck and groped me through my shirt with both hands.  To say I ached in all the right places was an understatement.  I wanted to rip my cardigan and fitted tee off right there just so that he would have easier access to what I wanted him touch skin to skin.  I could care less if it was his fingers or mouth.

He kissed his way back to my lips then pulled back to look at me.  I gave him a smirk and unbuttoned my cardigan.  He softly pressed his lips to mine but didn’t part my mouth.  He placed a kiss just behind my ear. The index finger of his left hand traced my collarbone.  His next kiss was placed just past the pulse on my neck then another onto the right side of my collarbone.  It was opened-mouthed, wet and I felt the skin being sucked in.  Sigh.

The fingers on his right hand skimmed the swell of my right breast and instantly I had goose bumps.  I knew the blood slowed and thickened in my veins.  White noise filled my ears when I felt him pull down and push aside the right cup of my bra.  I was panting now.  Eager and wanton for what he was about to do next. 

I threw my head back and moaned audibly when he kissed the swell of my exposed chest then licked the tight little bud of my nipple.  My lower body trembled in silent satisfaction.  FUCK ME.   I thought to myself.  No.  Seriously.  I would totally let him fuck me right now. 

The bastard then neatly repositioned my bra back into place then layered my shirt over to cover it before kissing me deep and breaking free to sip his drink and sink back into the couch.

MOTHERFUCKER. 

He stops now?!

My lord Mr. Tuesday was good at the game of tease.

He started talking.  About what you ask?  I have no clue.  I just smiled and nodded.  I was thinking about dropping down between his legs and doing unspeakable things to him with my mouth, then thought better of it.  I did my best to not look so incredibly wound up and just snuggled close to listen to him speak.

We made out like high school kids for another half hour or so and I decide to call it a night.  I wasn’t brave enough to sleep with him even though my body wanted otherwise.  He was extremely respectful and understood my decision.  WOW!

Mr. Tuesday apologized for not being able to drive me home as he had been drinking but his chivalrous self appeared yet again and insisted that he pay for my cab ride home. 

He escorted me downstairs.  This time I pulled him by his shirt collar towards me and kissed him on the elevator ride down.  It was quick but satisfying.  The cab was already waiting for me by the time we got outside his building.  We kissed modest but slow one last time inside the cab and said our goodbyes.  There was no mention of “See you soon” or “I’d like to see you again” exchanged between us.  He just kindly requested that I send him a text to let him know I got home.  I let out a breathy “Okay.” And Mr. Tuesday extracted himself from the cab closed the door and headed back into his building as the cab pulled away.

I had a perma-grin for the ENTIRE cab ride home and texted all my lady friends to let them know that I was headed home and that my panties were surprisingly STILL intact and that he was the consummate PERFECT gentleman.

I texted him when I got home and immediately called Jenn to spill the beans on the evening.  In the middle of my conversation with Jenn, Mr. Tuesday called on the other line.  I told Jenn to hold on.

“Hi.”

“Thank you for tonight.  I had a really good time.” I replied.

“Me too.”

“My phone is totally blowing up because my friends are checking up on me.  I have to fill them in.  Do you mind if I let you go?”

“No.  No.  Of course.  I had a good time too.  Get back to your friends.”

Looking back, I have no fucking clue why I just brushed him off like that.  I wasn’t even thinking when I uttered the words, ‘let you go.’  It never crossed my mind that he may have wanted to talk to me about the possibility that he may want to see me again.  I was just giddy that I had a date that didn’t make me want to kill myself and I totally wanted to brag about it.   

That night I reflected on the events that transpired a few hours earlier.  It will be a memory that I will more then fondly remember and recall often because it made me realize that I was enough for someone, even if it was for only a few hours.  Never in a million years would I have thought that someone as charming and as handsome as Mr. Tuesday would be even remotely attracted to me.  Especially the used and broken me now with all my flaws.

I felt worthy. 

It was finally okay for me to want attention and affection.  I was treated, for the first time ever, like a pretty girl.  I have NEVER felt that way about myself and tonight I let myself enjoy every last minute of attention that was paid to me and it was amazing. 

I already knew that I would NEVER hear from Mr. Tuesday again.  I was perfectly fine with it. He is the creature that he is and I went in with my eyes wide open.  He will never have any idea what he inadvertently did for me that night.  He reminded me that my disability truly didn’t define me when it came to attracting the opposite sex and for the first time in 7 years I COMPLETELY forgot that I was crippled.  

He gave me back my confidence.  It was a part of me that I had left for dead post illness and for one night I felt whole.