Whole

So I have to say…I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY like making-out.  Kissing is a crazy big turn-on for me and this guy was fucking AMAZING at it.  I haven’t done anything like this in years and Sweet Mother of Pearl was it ever panty-wetting!

I savoured Mr. Tuesday’s velvet tongue against mine as our mouths fought against each other in a delicious battle.  I smarted his lower lip as I nibbled towards his jaw line.  His stubble rough and welcome against my cheek.  I licked my way down to his neck and felt his pulse against my tongue.  His hands were still in my hair and when he pulled just a little.  I ravaged his neck and suckled his earlobe. 

Our lips connected again and I trailed my right hand down his chest past his belt.  I palmed him through his jeans. 

He. 

Was. 

Hard. 

HOLY FUCK!  I made Mr. Tuesday like this! 

ME!  Plain crippled me!

Mr. Tuesday responded in kind and plotted sweeping wet kisses across my neck and groped me through my shirt with both hands.  To say I ached in all the right places was an understatement.  I wanted to rip my cardigan and fitted tee off right there just so that he would have easier access to what I wanted him touch skin to skin.  I could care less if it was his fingers or mouth.

He kissed his way back to my lips then pulled back to look at me.  I gave him a smirk and unbuttoned my cardigan.  He softly pressed his lips to mine but didn’t part my mouth.  He placed a kiss just behind my ear. The index finger of his left hand traced my collarbone.  His next kiss was placed just past the pulse on my neck then another onto the right side of my collarbone.  It was opened-mouthed, wet and I felt the skin being sucked in.  Sigh.

The fingers on his right hand skimmed the swell of my right breast and instantly I had goose bumps.  I knew the blood slowed and thickened in my veins.  White noise filled my ears when I felt him pull down and push aside the right cup of my bra.  I was panting now.  Eager and wanton for what he was about to do next. 

I threw my head back and moaned audibly when he kissed the swell of my exposed chest then licked the tight little bud of my nipple.  My lower body trembled in silent satisfaction.  FUCK ME.   I thought to myself.  No.  Seriously.  I would totally let him fuck me right now. 

The bastard then neatly repositioned my bra back into place then layered my shirt over to cover it before kissing me deep and breaking free to sip his drink and sink back into the couch.

MOTHERFUCKER. 

He stops now?!

My lord Mr. Tuesday was good at the game of tease.

He started talking.  About what you ask?  I have no clue.  I just smiled and nodded.  I was thinking about dropping down between his legs and doing unspeakable things to him with my mouth, then thought better of it.  I did my best to not look so incredibly wound up and just snuggled close to listen to him speak.

We made out like high school kids for another half hour or so and I decide to call it a night.  I wasn’t brave enough to sleep with him even though my body wanted otherwise.  He was extremely respectful and understood my decision.  WOW!

Mr. Tuesday apologized for not being able to drive me home as he had been drinking but his chivalrous self appeared yet again and insisted that he pay for my cab ride home. 

He escorted me downstairs.  This time I pulled him by his shirt collar towards me and kissed him on the elevator ride down.  It was quick but satisfying.  The cab was already waiting for me by the time we got outside his building.  We kissed modest but slow one last time inside the cab and said our goodbyes.  There was no mention of “See you soon” or “I’d like to see you again” exchanged between us.  He just kindly requested that I send him a text to let him know I got home.  I let out a breathy “Okay.” And Mr. Tuesday extracted himself from the cab closed the door and headed back into his building as the cab pulled away.

I had a perma-grin for the ENTIRE cab ride home and texted all my lady friends to let them know that I was headed home and that my panties were surprisingly STILL intact and that he was the consummate PERFECT gentleman.

I texted him when I got home and immediately called Jenn to spill the beans on the evening.  In the middle of my conversation with Jenn, Mr. Tuesday called on the other line.  I told Jenn to hold on.

“Hi.”

“Thank you for tonight.  I had a really good time.” I replied.

“Me too.”

“My phone is totally blowing up because my friends are checking up on me.  I have to fill them in.  Do you mind if I let you go?”

“No.  No.  Of course.  I had a good time too.  Get back to your friends.”

Looking back, I have no fucking clue why I just brushed him off like that.  I wasn’t even thinking when I uttered the words, ‘let you go.’  It never crossed my mind that he may have wanted to talk to me about the possibility that he may want to see me again.  I was just giddy that I had a date that didn’t make me want to kill myself and I totally wanted to brag about it.   

That night I reflected on the events that transpired a few hours earlier.  It will be a memory that I will more then fondly remember and recall often because it made me realize that I was enough for someone, even if it was for only a few hours.  Never in a million years would I have thought that someone as charming and as handsome as Mr. Tuesday would be even remotely attracted to me.  Especially the used and broken me now with all my flaws.

I felt worthy. 

It was finally okay for me to want attention and affection.  I was treated, for the first time ever, like a pretty girl.  I have NEVER felt that way about myself and tonight I let myself enjoy every last minute of attention that was paid to me and it was amazing. 

I already knew that I would NEVER hear from Mr. Tuesday again.  I was perfectly fine with it. He is the creature that he is and I went in with my eyes wide open.  He will never have any idea what he inadvertently did for me that night.  He reminded me that my disability truly didn’t define me when it came to attracting the opposite sex and for the first time in 7 years I COMPLETELY forgot that I was crippled.  

He gave me back my confidence.  It was a part of me that I had left for dead post illness and for one night I felt whole.

Business Meeting

Holy shit.  Holy shit.  HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

I’m trying my best to look calm and collected but seeing as I have never been put in such a situation, I’m in a slight panic.  I’ve never had a boy take me back to ‘their’ place.  How does one act?  What does one do?  Well… aside from the obvious but I’m not even sure if I’m even ready for the obvious.  Fuck. 

“Can I get you a drink?” he calls from around the corner in his kitchen.

“Water please.”

Part of me wants more alcohol to help me relax but then I act slutty, which may not necessarily be a bad thing but I decide right now it’s important to keep my wits about me.  I appreciate that he didn’t harp on me about not having a stronger beverage.  Nice guy.

I comment that his place is very ‘manly’.  Spacious with lots of dark browns, the walls are dotted with images of cityscapes.  New York City in particular.  For sure no woman has had a hand in decorating this place.  

He mentioned on the walk over that he had a jukebox.  Interesting.  I hobble over to take a closer look at it.  I hear clinking ice against glass behind me and turn around.  He hands me my water.  Icy cold against my sweaty hand, I immediately bring the glass to my mouth and nurse it.  The water smarts my lower lip, raw from chewing.

“Do you want to listen to something?” He asks before he sips his drink and steps close enough to me that his fingers tickle my left hand.  Holy shivers!  I smile, giggle and nod all the while; my glass is pressed to my lips taking tiny sips of the icy water.  I pull the cup away from my mouth and watch him as he turns the jukebox on and finds a song. 

I’m not familiar with the tune but am amused that he sings a few lines out loud to me.  He’s so close that I wonder if he can hear how fast my heart is racing.  I’m crunching on a piece of ice and I’m looking at his mouth.  He moves even closer that my chest ever so lightly presses against his.  I look up at him through my lashes and I giggle nervously.  I can tell he knows what I want. 

Kiss.  Me.  Please.

His kiss was slow but chaste.  Mr. Tuesday picked up that I was nervous.  Shit.  I should have never told him my stupid quirk.  He pulls back, his eyes search mine for approval.  I take a quick sip of my water and without hesitation I place my parted mouth back on his.  I made it clear the type of kiss I wanted, full and deep.  My tongue was cold from the sip of water I just had and it was an exquisite torture to have the heat from his dissipate the chill in mine.

FUCK YEAH! With being assertive, and FUCK ME! That was a good kiss!  I’m leaning more towards wanting the ‘obvious’ to happen now.

He takes my drink and I follow him towards the couch.  I’m feeling all weird, tingly and now I know some ‘business’ is going to happen on that couch.  Will there be a merger, a small acquisition or a quick meeting?  I don’t know…I don’t know.  I start to panic again.  I then realize that since I’ve been with him he has kept his hands to himself.  Only touching me when I touched him.  He was the complete opposite of Rico Suave but actually handsome.  He’s a nice guy.  Perfect gentleman so far. 

He places our drinks on the coffee table and sits down.  I follow and think I need a little liquid courage.

“May I have a sip of your drink?”

“Help yourself.”

I take a swig and realize it’s one of the drinks I despise from my days out clubbing ‘till you puke.  I try my best to hide my disdain and I hear my phone buzzing like a time tomb in my purse.

“Sorry. I have to check my phone.  Everyone knows I’m out tonight and they just want to check in on me.” I say as I chase down the drink with the rest of my water.

“No…no…of course.  Check your phone.  Tell them where you are by all means.  It’s good that you’re checking in.”

This guy is a scoring points left, right and centre with me right now.  So fucking nice.

I check my phone and I have text messages waiting to be read.

JENN:

Are u ok….we went back and u weren’t there…OMFG…R U OK…GIVE ME A SIGN…SERIOUSLY…Are you making out????

CARRIE:

Sooooooo???....Oooooohhhhhh…ok be safe…did you kiss him???

HOLLY:

Don’t do anything you don’t want to or that I wouldn’t do…LOL.  Enjoy!!!!!  XO

LEILANI:

Yo!  You still out?  How’s it going??  Spill the beans!!!!!

PIPER:

Woo!  Hoo!  How’s it going?...Only do what you want to do and nothing more!!!  ;P

SASH:

Sooooo….I’m dying to know how it’s going.  Don’t stay up too late!

Honestly.  I really am lucky to have these great bitches as friends.  

I send them all texts to let them know I’m back at his place.  What a mistake.  This only caused an immediate second wave of texts and emoticons which I ignored.  I figure I’ll get back to them later once my ‘business meeting’ on the couch was over.  I also thought there was only so much I could do to stall and collect myself from my nerves.  I shut my phone off and bury myself in the couch pillows.

“Everything okay?  Can I get you anything else?”  He squeezes my left hand in his.

“More water please.” I squeak out.

I knew EXACTLY what was going happen when he sat back down here.  Holy fuck. I did my best to take in a few deep breaths without him noticing and smiled politely when he came back with my water.  I took the glass and downed the whole thing in one shot. 

He asks me to come closer so I could lean against his chest.  Oh no.  He’s for sure gonna feel how fast my heart is beating.  I oblige and he wraps his arm around me and I rest my head on his chest.  His smell is intoxicating and I close my eyes when he speaks in his perfect baritone.  We talk about music as we’re listening to it and he belts out a few more lines from another song I don’t know.  I lift my head to look at him in amusement. 

Our eyes connect and like magnets our mouths meet.  We kissed so deep I felt it in the pit of my stomach.  I bit his lower lip when I felt his hands in my hair.  He tugged just a little and I think I moaned into his mouth as his tongue danced against mine. O-M-G!!  My body was humming. Everything felt so good.  He kissed his way down to the hollow of my neck to my collarbone.  I felt my nipples straining against my bra.  I was aching for him to touch and kiss me there.  He nibbled his way back to my mouth and pecked my lips once, twice, three times before he pulled away.

“You okay?  Am I going too fast?” He whispered low in my ear, his nose nuzzling my neck before looking at me.

I crinkled my nose at him, bit my lower lip and nodded that I was fine.  My mind was going berserk with all the things I wanted to do to him.  What I wanted him to do to me!  Then I remembered this was only a first date and I’m pretty sure the ONLY date I’ll have with this guy.  Dudes like him don’t go out with the same girl twice.

We talked about dating and he said that he liked me too much to sleep with me tonight.  BOLD.  I told him that I’m a lot harder to get then he thinks.  He joked that he would have me by the second date between dinner and dessert.  I laughed out loud.  YEAH RIGHT BUDDY! 

“Seriously.  We don’t work out…I want to be friends with you.  You’re interesting.”

“Sure.” 

Friends with benefits I’m sure, I thought to myself.  Not that I had a problem with it.  I did want to sow my wild oats after all.   I wasn’t sure how sincere he was in that statement, but at least he put it out there and it was nice gesture.

We stare at each other for just a beat.

Fuck it.  I told myself.

I decide to be bold and kiss him first.  Hard and with purpose and move this ‘business meeting’ on the couch to an ‘acquisition’ and I let my hand wander towards his belt…