Beneficial Understanding

HIM:

You okay? 

ME:

Yes…of course…Why?

HIM:

Just checking up…

Okay so now I was a little more than curious as to why he would want to check-up on me.  I needed to speak with him.

ME:

Can I call you?

HIM:

Call me what?

ME:

Hahahaha…silly boy!

HIM:

Yes…But for just a bit…I’m going to go for a run…unless later…I’m easy…

ME:

Call me after…have a good run you lucky bastard with two legs…FYI…I already know that you’re easy…BAM…fuck you… :)

HIM:

Some say I have three...you go fuck yourself... :)

ME:

Well…We’ll see about that…

HIM:

Ha…Maybe you will…maybe you won’t…

ME:

My mouth is your loss then…okay fuck off and go for your run…call me later

HIM:

Ha…Touché…

Playful Mr. Tuesday got in touch with me.  This was our banter when we spoke on the phone the first time.  This is what enamoured me to him in the first place.  To say I was pleasantly surprised was an understatement.  Butterflies of all kinds were wreaking havoc in my belly and we were only texting. 

Damn him, that fucker.

I immediately text Holly and let her know that Mr. Tuesday got in touch with me.  I forward my text exchange with him to her.

HOLLY:

LMAO.  You two are cute.  I love it!

ME:

Was it too much?

HOLLY:

Nah.  Never too much.  He kept it going too.  You two are funny.  I like the friendship behind the potential for romance and sex.  It’s something more solid then sexting.  LOL!

ME:

Me too!  He’s so fucking charming.

HOLLY:

I like that he’s like…You OK?...I’m just checking.  LOL!  CUTE.

ME:

I’ll let you know how tonight’s conversation goes.  I know that he has a lunch date tomorrow which I am totally not bothered by.

HOLLY:

As you shouldn’t be.  You’re still trolling sites too—but for now Mr. Tuesday is a fun ‘side piece’ until or if it becomes more.  :)  You go girl!!!

Ahhhh…you can always count on your girlfriends to put things into perspective.  I was too embarrassed to admit to Holly that I was doing a happy dance of joy when I got that text back.  It was HELLA flattering for me that he even gave me a second thought at all!

Later that night we spoke briefly before he told me he was headed out for what I assumed was another date.  He assured me that it wasn’t and I assured him that I didn’t care what he did in his own time.  I told him to enjoy himself.  Our conversation lasted 5 minutes. 

A little over 90 minutes later he sent me a text letting me know he had a crappy night.  I asked why and then he called me.  We spoke that night until almost 2am.  Oh man did we ever laugh when were talking.  It made me enamoured to him.   Mr. Tuesday also asked why I never got in touch with him post date.  I told him I never expected him to get back to me considering he was a man-whore an all.  I explained that I wanted nothing serious. Same as him. ‘Just fun.’   In my mind I remembered my girlfriends telling me that good girls don’t chase.  That is the dude’s job.  I was also trying to protect myself from developing any sort of attachment to this man however talking to him was making that EXTREMELY difficult.  Mr. Tuesday was so easy going and we didn’t even have to talk about sex…until later in our conversation.

HIM:

I had a fun with you that night.

ME:

Me too.  I REALLY enjoyed myself.  You’re a very good kisser.  I kinda regret leaving early that night.

HIM:

Yeah.  I thought so too.  The night seemed unfinished…

ME:

Yeah, right?  I wouldn’t have slept with you BUT I’m sure I could have done more…with my mouth. 

BAM!  I opened the door now…

ME:

I went home very ahh…in need of relief.

{Blush.}

HIM:

Oh fuck.  I was so horny after you left.  I jerked off thinking about you.

Thus began our talk about all things that we prefer during sex.  I told him I prefer ‘giving’ then ‘receiving’.  He explained that one of his favourite things is to go down on a woman.  I know ladies that you think I’m mental because who doesn’t love a good burger munch but I honestly don’t get that much satisfaction from it.  I think that things changed when I had my clitoral piercing years ago—YUP - I did get my lady bits pierced and now only ‘I’ can take cake of business down in that nether region proper.   He suggested that I should let him try one day and to give him ‘the tap’ should I want him to stop.  I laughed my ass off at that.

Damn that Mr. Tuesday for being so bloody funny and charming.  Fucker.

We established that we should try “friends with benefits”. This was all new to me so why the fuck not?  I agreed.  I’m sure I would learn a thing or two from him, which I could possibly carry on to my next encounter.  I remember Holly telling me that I need at least three dicks in me then I could get serious.  I countered with five.  I know…very overly ambitious of me but a girl’s gotta dream, right?

I have no clue how the whole “friends with benefits” thing actually works but I was enjoying my time chirping with Mr. Tuesday.  I would let him take the lead on that.  I think that he is too charming NOT to have as a new friend, even if the sex never happens.  Everyone in my life who ever made me belly laugh is keepers in my books.  He should stick around regardless, even if only to hear about his ‘sexcapades’.

Like I mentioned earlier, we spoke until almost 2am and my panties were soaking wet by the time I hung up the phone.  I ended up having to take a L-O-N-G shower again post phone call.  God, I love my detachable shower head!!!!!

Mr. Tuesday and I texted on and off for another week.  Nothing overly flirtatious.  Just basic stuff;  “How’s it going?  How was your day?”  Then one night, nine days after our first date he called me just after 11:30pm…

Mr. Tuesday

Mr. Tuesday’s morning text prompted me to pretty much tell every single girlfriend I know that this bitch was preparing for battle so soon after I lost the first war.

Since Leilani and Piper pretty much orchestrated this twist of fate, I let them know first that I was meeting him today.  I then contacted my friend Jenn who is basically my neighbourhood fellow ethnic, like me.  I let her know that I scored a date and she more then happily offered to chauffeur me to my meeting place.   I then continued down the line of girlfriends to fill them in on the latest developments with me. 

I was grateful that Sash was coming over for a quick visit.  Nothing like getting hands on advice and a pep talk from one of my online dating gurus.  I was starting to get just a little bit nervous but her presence helped to calm my nerves. 

Carrie the style maven was away at the cottage so I had to text her for advice as to what I should wear for my coffee date.  I remember Sash telling me she always wears the same outfit for the first date so I was going to do the same but Carrie said it was way too fancy for coffee.  I opted for an A-line skirt with a large floral print in tan that was just above the knee, a white fitted deep scoop neck t-shirt and a bright pink three-quarter length sleeve cardigan with matching coloured peep toe flats.  I sent Carrie a pic of my outfit and she gave me virtual thumbs up.  I left my hair down and tousled it to give it a little volume.  I did a dramatic smokey eye and just sheer gloss on my lips.

Jenn and her husband Big Al came to pick me up about an hour before my date as they had children to drop off to assorted events.  They are SERIOUS multi-taskers so they had being efficient down to a science.  I hadn’t seen both of them in a while so while we were driving to drop one child off to soccer I had to rehash my crappy date to them and fill them in on my plans for this evening as we headed to my final destination.  The two of them were grinning like idiots for me.

As we were pulling up to the Starbucks I saw him walking down the street.  I immediately told Big Al to swing around the back of the building.  I suddenly felt extremely self-conscious.  I despised the thought of my date seeing me hobble around in my crutches.  I wanted to get inside as soon as possible so that didn’t happen.  I hopped out quick as I could, Big Al wished me luck and Jenn and her daughter were just a shadow behind me.  They wanted to see what Mr. Tuesday looked liked first hand.

As fast as I my one leg could take me, I went inside the Starbucks, found a table for two and sat and waited for him.  I figure I had less then five minutes before he came strolling in.  Jenn and her daughter totally scoped him out as they walked past him and through the windowpane they gave me open-mouthed grins and the big thumbs up.  I wanted to belly laugh out loud.

Mr. Tuesday saw me right away and smiled.  I smiled in return as he walked towards me.  I was suddenly nervous.  Not as nervous as the first time but nervous enough that I could feel my heart beating a little faster then usual.  He was wearing an indigo coloured linen jacket, black dress shirt, dark wash jeans and a pair of Chuck T’s.  I extended my hand to shake his. 

“Hi.  Really nice to meet you.  You look really nice.” I say to him as he firmly takes my hand in his to shake in return.

“Why thank you.  Wow.  You’re really pretty.  You look great by they way.” he replies. 

Okay, I’m right in the heart of blush city.  He then asks what I would like to drink before leaving me momentarily to grab our drinks.

I glance his way every now and then while he waits in line.  I’m too nervous to make direct eye contact.  He’s cute.  Tall.  Facial scruff.  I like.  He looks like his photos.  Good.  He’s paying for our beverages.  Even better.  He comes back with our drinks and sits down.  OMG!  He smells amazing!  So amazing that I in fact blurt out, “You smell REALLY good.”  He chuckles.

“So…” he sips his coffee and stares at me. 

Oh no, please don’t tell me I’ll have to carry the conversation yet again. ‘So’ is such a pussy word.  Shit.  Shit.  Shit.  This is not how I wanted it to go. 

“Good day so far?” he asks. 

“Yup.  Had a pedicure this morning and met up with a friend and did the ice bucket challenge.  Pissed that I got nominated but I did it and my friend donated on my behalf as well.  Have you done it?”  I was madly chewing my bottom lip and giggled.  Mr. Tuesday was more subdued so it was hard to gage how the evening would progress but it was also very early in the date. 

“I did get nominated but I didn’t want to get wet.  I donated instead.”  He paused and took another sip of his coffee and looked at me.  “God.   You have gorgeous hair.”  I giggled again as I sipped my drink. 

“You laugh a lot.”  He pointed out. 

“Nervous habit.” I look down as I reply back and take a huge gulp of my cool lime refresher.

“You’re nervous?  Don’t be.” And Mr. Tuesday then squeezes my hand and lightly pats it.  Tingly.  This dude just made me tingle when he touched me.  

He launched into one of his cheesy jokes and it totally broke the ice.  The conversation started flowing more freely as if we were on the phone again.  We talked about bad date experiences and touched on our kids.  He then asked if I had eaten.  I said no. “Do you wanna have some wine and snacks?  There’s a place just across the street we could go to.”  I nod in agreement and I swear I think my bottom lip is bleeding from the constant chewing I’ve done to it.

Dread.  Sheer dread then washes over me because now, my worst fear is coming to fruition.  Mr. Tuesday is gonna see me hobble on my crutches.  Fuck.  I plaster the fakest smile I have on my face but inside I’m dying.  I don’t want to leave the confines of my chair but I really want to continue my evening with this guy.

I reluctantly follow him out.  He walks ahead of me, until we get to the door and he opens it so I could go first.  Gentlemanly gesture for sure but now my ‘handicapness’ is in full view for him and everyone one else to observe.  I fucking hate myself in that very moment.

“You must have pretty good upper body strength.” He says to me.  

I smile and giggle.  

“Hey, still nervous?  Don't be okay?” He noted my nervous cue. 

“You’re curvy and gorgeous.  I think you're amazing.” 

I don’t believe him.  

He pities me.  

I’m sure of it.

“HA!” I snort.  We cross the street and head towards the restaurant.

“What?  I’m being serious!” He says. “Own it.  You’re gorgeous.”  I smile, thank him and mention that he smells really damn good…again.

The restaurant was a quaint local joint with five star food.  We share a bottle of wine and assorted tapas.  The wine definitely loosened me up because I was more chirpy, flirty and relaxed.  My hand would also settle on his knee every now and then as did his on mine.  We talked more about dating and he mentioned that he was actually going on a date Friday afternoon.  “Good for you.” I said sincerely. 

Hey.  I knew EXACTLY what I was getting myself into so it wasn’t a big deal.  He mentioned that he felt comfortable enough to tell me and wanted to let me know that if “we” didn’t work out that he still wanted to be friends.  He told me he liked me because I seemed different, ‘cool’.  I grinned happily.   Mr. Tuesday placed his hand on my bare knee and rubbed circles with his index finger.  Yeah.  I was ready to eat butterflies now.

The night was still young when we were done at the wine bar.   Like a true gentleman he paid for dinner.  That gesture alone made him almost perfect.  I was a tad tipsy from the wine and maybe just a little more touchy feely then I normally am.  He suggested that we walk back to his place.  Warning sirens were going off in my head.  I gulped down a big glass of water to try and clear my addled alcohol induced brain.  “Do you promise to behave yourself?”  I smiled at him impishly.  Mr. Tuesday then leaned in, gently squeezed my thigh and whispered in my ear, “Have I not been a perfect gentleman all night?”

HOLY FUCK!  This bastard was bloody S-M-O-O-T-H.  I think we all know what my answer was going to be.

“Okay.  Let’s go back to your place BUT just so you know ALL my friends know exactly where I am and what I’m doing tonight.”  I hop off the bar stool and thanks to the libations I consumed I could give two fucks about him seeing me hobble.

“That’s perfectly fine.  Thank you again for coming out to meet me.”  Mr. Tuesday then chastely kisses me on the cheek and I follow him out. 

He told me lives close enough that he walked over but wanted to get a cab so I didn’t have to walk.  I explained to him that I’d be fine.  It was beautiful night out and I was up for it.  He admitted that he really enjoyed my company and reiterated regardless if I had two legs, six legs, he didn’t care.  He said I was pretty damn cute.  I reciprocated the compliment back but said he was handsome instead.

It was a fifteen-minute walk to his building.  We talked about our siblings and what we were like in high school and our banter seemed familiar.  I didn’t feel at all uncomfortable or threatened around him.  I followed him into the lobby and we waited in silence for the elevator.  I was feeling just a little flush and by default I started gnawing my slightly raw and now very pink bottom lip.

The elevator door opened.  His chivalrous self let me in first and I scooted all the way to the far corner.  He entered.  Pressed the button to his floor and the elevator door began to close.  Mr. Tuesday turned to face me and took two big strides in my direction. His eyes were hooded and fixed on my mouth. 

OMG!  OMG!  O-M-FUCKING-G!!!!  

He gently leaned his body towards me, tilted his head and touched his lips to mine.  I felt the tip of his tongue swipe the seam of my mouth open.  I granted him access and sighed into him as he deepened the kiss.  My belly instantly tightened and my heart was beating like a hummingbird’s wings.

The elevator came to a stop on his floor.  He pulled away and stared at me.  I swear I could have been the Joker in the latest Batman reboot because the smirk on my face was GIGANTIC! 

I believe I just had a Fifty Shades of Grey, ‘FUCK THE PAPERWORK’ elevator moment and HOLY SHIT!  Mr. Tuesday was a CRAZY GOOD kisser!  He chuckled and quickly pecked my lips before placing his hand on the small of my back and guided me down the hallway towards his apartment. 

Mr. Tuesday kissed my forehead, smirked devilishly at me as he unlocked his door. He stepped inside and I willingly followed his lead…